Kansas GOP Insider (wannabe): December 2015

Sunday, December 27, 2015

A NY Resolution for Brownback

Oh, Guv,

If I could make a resolution for you, it would be this: Stop giving interviews, especially exclusive one-on-ones, with members of the press who hate you. 

It is a tradition for the Kansas Governor to sit down one-on-one with members of the Statehouse press corps at the end of the year. However, just because something has always been done one way that doesn't necessarily mean it has to continue that way forever. By that logic, women would still be whispering in their husbands' ears about whom they should vote.

Anyway, as is the tradition, Brownback sat down individually with reporters trained to hate him. And so between Christmas and New Year's Kansans will get to read a barrage of stories about how the Governor is "standing by failed policies, closing hospitals, and being mean to small children." It's soooo predictable.

This is the first Brownback as Grinch story I've seen, but I know more are coming. The Lawrence Journal World's Peter Hancock begins his story by telling readers that Brownback is "making no apologies for gun policies" that will allow weapons on Kansas college campuses. Um, why would he apologize? Why is this news? Brownback advocated for the policies, which have yet to even go into effect. I guess the expectation from the press corp is that Brownback would see all of their editorials and realize the error of his ways without a shred of evidence that the policy will have any damaging effect? (Other than college kids protesting. We should ALL take seriously the protestations of privileged college kids, obviously.)

I don't understand why Brownback grants these interviews every year -- or at any time, really. Truly, it's confusing to me. It's simply not necessary anymore. Grant interviews to friendlies -- ahem, I'd be happy to set up an appointment -- and lock the gate and throw away the key to so-called journalists intent on making you look bad. If the President can bash Fox News on a daily basis and grant interviews to a woman famous for bathing and eating a tub full of cereal and milk (Pah.uke) then there is no reason Brownback can't slam the door in the LJW's face. Yes, the Governor would get some bad publicity for it, but uh... he's getting bad publicity anyway. 

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Who's Looking Stupid Now?

It's no secret that I detest the way politicians are always slobbering all over one another. (Well, maybe it's a secret, but if it is, it shouldn't be!) Republican Senators on round table shows are always falling all over themselves to call the Democrat at the table, "My friend," "The Honorable," etc. I can't stand it. I'm not saying they should be mean, but there's no excuse for fawning all over the opposition. (BTW, this is what almost Kansas politician does at the mere mention of Bob Dole.)

I hate it for two reasons: One, this fawning and groveling falls just short of worship, and false idols are bad. (I read that somewhere.) Two, it's dishonest. If the two parties in question are friends, surely they don't hang out on the golf course slobbering praises all over one another. At least, that's not how I act with my friends, and that's certainly not how they act with me. (Mental note: Get better friends??)

Anyway, so I mention all of this, because someone should be sitting in his office wearing a dunce hat. Gov. Sam Brownback just couldn't help himself when Paul Ryan was elected U.S. Speaker of the House. Ryan once worked for Brownback, so of course, the Kansas Governor trotted out a healthy press release praising Ryan. 

"Paul Ryan is a great policy mind with a proven record of working with others to find solutions to our nation's challenges. The country needs solutions right now. He will be a great Speaker."

Here. Hold my vomit bag. (Hands imaginary friend bag full of yesterday's meals.)

So, let's talk about how ragingly awesome Ryan is as Speaker, shall we?

Rush Limbaugh is calling Ryan a "Democrat's wet dream" for that disastrous budget bill in which Republicans didn't fight for a single thing. Not one. The Republicans, under the awesome tutelage of Sam Brownback's favorite puppy Paul Ryan, just handed the entire country to the Democrats on a silver platter. Those wusses didn't even put up a fight. 

I guess they couldn't be bothered to, you know, do the will of the American people. This was the ultimate back stab. 

These lying liars who lie -- ahem, U.S. Congress -- are the reason I refuse to have my picture taken with any politicians. You know, you've seen a million of these vanity photos on Facebook -- the ones where Random Friend is posing with his arm around Sam Brownback, and then there's Random Friend again posing with Kevin Yoder, and then there's Random Friend again with Paul Ryan, and there he is AGAIN with an arm around Bobby Jindal. Facebook photos of individuals cozying up to politicians are the equivalent of skinny jeans -- they just make you look ridiculous. And that, my friends, is what Brownback has done by slobbering all over Paul Ryan. 

Pro Tip: When you're the Governor of a state, and someone you know is being noticed by the news media, you don't HAVE to send a press release. You can just ignore it. 

For what it's worth, 95 courageous Republicans opposed the monstrosity that fully funds EVEN MORE Syrian refugees and worse, gives the Baby Part Chop Shop (Planned Parenthood) every dime they sought. Kansas can take pride in the votes of Lynn Jenkins, Mike Pompeo and Tim Huelskamp. 

Go ahead and make a note, Yoder voted with Ryan.

Friday, December 11, 2015

Stompy. Stompy. Barb Shelley Mad.

Barb Shelley is mad. Stompy. Stompy. Stompy.
Gov. Sam Brownback has had the audacity to appoint people to offices and positions to which they have no experience.

To which, I say, DUH!!! 

I know this comes as a super shock, but most politicians appoint people with no experience to positions they have no business serving. Shelley writes in a ridiculous screed for the Star as if Brownback is the first politician to appoint friends and political supporters in this fashion.

The dumb. It’s strong.

If we’re being honest, it drives me absolutely bonkers, 9,000 degrees of up the wall, the way politicians line their staffs and appointments with political pals and their children. That said, it is dishonest and insincere to pretend that this is something only Republicans do. I mean, come on, man.


I’m also hearing a common refrain that there’s far too much turnover in Brownback’s Cabinet. This may come as a shock, but that’s really business as usual. Former Gov. Kathleen Sebelius had more turnover than Brownback. Good luck finding that fact in print anywhere, but I am not making this up. The primary difference between the turnover in Brownback’s administration and the turnover in Sebelius’ administration is partisan hacks like Shelley pretending it’s some sort of bizarre reflection on the person in charge. If that’s the case, someone should have a serious talk with the President about the insane turnover in his administration. And don’t even get me started on his appointments to ambassadorships. (Also, not uncommon for Presidents to give ambassadorships to their friends, Kennedys, donors, Hollywood starlets. Still, it’s gross.)

So yes, Brownback appoints people who have no experience to jobs they probably shouldn’t hold. And don’t make me reiterate how your chances of a cherry job or political appointment in the Brownback administration increase exponentially if you attend a certain Topeka church or live in Kim Borchers’ basement. But let’s not pretend Sebelius, Obama, any politician since the dawn of man, has had a vetting process that thoroughly took into consideration potential appointees’ experience, education or skill. 

This feels like the place where I should mention that President Obama appointed Kathleen Sebelius to take over one-sixth of the U.S. economy as the Secretary of Health and Human Services. I'm pretty sure her VAST experience for the job included marrying someone with the right last name, backing Obama instead of Hillary and in bewildering fashion -- managing to get elected Kansas Governor. Oh, and she was an ambulance chasing lawyer before that. Clearly, highly, highly qualified for that job.

Shelley's attempt at a Brownback hatchet job is just sad.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Stop the madness, Bob Dole

Remember former President Ronald Reagan’s 11th Commandment: Though shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican?

Yeah, apparently Bob Dole has forgotten it too. His excuse, I guess, is old age and a desperate cry for attention – ANY KIND OF ATTENTION – and legitimacy. There he is, Kansas’ “favorite son”, being quoted as a hero on Occupy Democrat.

Dole doesn’t like Donald Trump; and he thinks Cruz is “extreme” for not being more like Mitch McConnell (I just threw up a little bit in my mouth). The President, however, is a “good man.”

I don’t even have words. Dole is entitled to his ill-formed, pathetic opinions, but can we please, please stop listening to him? And can Kansas Republicans STOP with the Bob Dole ring kissing?

Like clockwork, every campaign season, my Facebook feed is bombarded with Kansas Congressional delegates bowing at the altar of Bob Dole. Every summer, we get another behind-kissing announcement from the same people proudly wishing Dole a happy birthday and touting his accomplishments.
Dole’s resume includes being the Tax Collector for the Welfare State and getting elected a whole bunch of times. Oh, and the country gave him a lovely Farewell Tour when he was soundly and embarrassingly walloped by skirt-chaser in chief, Bill Clinton. All of this makes me seriously question the wisdom of my elders, who repeatedly thought Dole should stay in Congress for a million years. (While we’re on the topic, please tell me we don’t have to do this ring-kissing, altar worshiping thing when Sen. Pat Roberts finally, mercifully decides that someone else – anyone else – is capable of representing Kansas in the U.S. Senate.)

As I’ve said before, I admire Dole’s service to our country in World War II, but that’s not why we know his name today. Getting elected isn’t exactly jumping on a landmine to save a friend, but that’s the kind of praise Kansans heap on Bob Dole every two or three months. Quite frankly, I’ve had enough of cheering his decades of “service” in the U.S. Congress. It gives me the heebie jeebies. Just stop, OK. Stop it.

Bob Dole is not your friend, if you support low taxes, slowing the President’s vile, anti-American agenda, attend church, or think the U.S. should be a sovereign country. Do you hear me, Kansas Republicans? Bob Dole is NOT YOUR FRIEND. If stabbing you in the back will get him a mention in the Huffington Post, he’ll do it, gladly.