Kansas GOP Insider (wannabe): Incoming! A No Good, Very Bad, Head Desk Plan

Friday, July 7, 2017

Incoming! A No Good, Very Bad, Head Desk Plan

Dear Friends, 

Please read this post from the comfort of your safe space, because it's going to be a bit critical of our team. I've been holding off on writing this, but it's tickling my brain so much I can't sleep. Apologies in advance.

Here goes:

Someone, somewhere has hashed a plan for the Second Congressional District. It's perhaps the dumbest thing I've heard in quite some time, and I watch CBS This Morning every weekday, so I hear a lot of dumb daily.

Conservative, Republican strategists have dreamt up a fail safe plan to turn the Second District blue. This plan is like a monkey humping a football--nothing good is created by the act, and the end result is a big old mess that embarrasses everyone who sees it.

Currently, Lynn Jenkins represents Kansas' Second Congressional District. She announced earlier this year that she'll abdicate the throne, leaving an opening for some savvy pol to move to the swamp. To date, Kansas State Sen. Steve Fitzgerald, a Leavenworth Republican, has tossed his hat into the ring. His hat won't be lonely for long. Sen. Caryn Tyson, a Republican from Parker, is likely to announce some day soon as well. And I keep hearing Sen. Dennis Pyle is also considering his options. Tyson, Pyle, and Fitzgerald hail from the conservative side of the Republican Party. (I'm a fan.) Other Republicans likely to announce their candidacy: Todd Thompson, the Leavenworth County District Attorney, potentially Vicki Schmidt, and probably some candidate dredged up by Has-Beens. (I don't have an inside man with those folks, so your guess is as good as mine.)

The Dems will run former gubernatorial candidate Paul Davis, and some conservative strategists are working to draft another conservative candidate, because the "optics" of a race between an old white guy (sorry, Fitzgerald and Pyle) and Davis look bad. I still can't figure out how the optics of a woman (Tyson) against old white man Davis are bad. I think the "strategists" worry that Fitzgerald, Pyle, or Tyson are not easily controlled.

So they've drafted Rep. Kevin Jones, a conservative Republican from Wellsville. And guys, here's why this post hurts: I like almost all of these candidates, a lot. But I think Jones' chances of winning are about as high as the chances that I'll deliver sextuplets in Gardner Lake while surrounded by sharks.

Jones is an attractive guy with great values and a family made for political post cards, but he's not ready. He had an entire session to make a name for himself, and he didn't. According to rumor, the strategists believe Jones probably won't win, but he'll begin building name recognition for some other run somewhere down the line. Meanwhile, the strategists will groom Kansas State Treasurer Jake LaTurner to run against Davis in 2020. Seriously, that's the plan: Lose the Second District so LaTurner can run when he's ready in 2020. (I hear LaTurner has no part in this plan.)

Guys, this is an awful, horrible, no good, very bad and baffling plan. Already, there's one conservative in the race--Fitzgerald--and without any strategizing, there is likely to be a second--Tyson. So why on earth would anyone draft a third one with a goal of losing?

If these strategists want to field a LaTurner candidacy, then do it now. Do not wait for 2020 and ruin Republican chances in 2018. 

Surely, I'm not the only person on the planet who remembers how impossible it was to unseat Congressman Dennis Moore. The only reason we have a Republican representing the Third District right now is a neurodegenerative disease, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. 

There's no reason to believe that beating Davis in 2020 would be a walk in the park, even if LaTurner is fresh off a statewide Treasurer tour giving away found money. 

If I knew for certain exactly who these strategists were, I would say something privately. And if I had only heard this rumor once or twice, I'd think someone was just planting stories. BUT I keep hearing it. And I've been asking around, and no one is denying it. 

I have no idea who the coach of the Kansas conservatives is, but apparently, tight coaching shorts are preventing blood flow to the brain.

With sincerest apologies for the graphic mental pictures this post may provoke and for saying harsh words about our team, 


P.S. I forgot to add this helpful nugget on first pass: Kansas may lose a Congressional seat come 2022 after reapportionment. (Thanks, tax increasers, for helping Missouri gain a Congressional seat.) If that occurs, a theoretical Congressman Paul Davis could be in the position to take out another Republican officeholder in a race between incumbents in 2022.


  1. Things seem to be looking bad for the state of Kansas right now. I hope things work out in favor of the people of Kansas and the right person gets appointed.

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